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Epitaph

RHODONITE AND GRIEF

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lyrics

Lifetimes
Lived and died

For a moment in the turnaround
I was waiting with the car in drive
Watched you hurry on across the parking lot
The image of her life in your mind fades and
I could see an anxious strength in you
A bravery born in pain
Waiting by the front door on your cell phone
Summer at the convalescent home

Kill me by surprise
You said
I don’t want to stay alive to watch the words go first like hers
Lifetimes
Lived and died

In the winter on the porch
Through the the window of the door
I watch
In the kitchen with your notebook open
Frozen in the cold when I’d come back with wine
At the end of every long night
Take a moment you need to just breathe
Whole days in treatment plans
Aphasic patients
Apraxia of speech
Weeks and months go by like this
We function on routines
We sleep
We eat
We read
We eat
We drink
We sleep
We keep her picture on the fridge
I keep a rabbit toy for kids
You gave me strength to fix myself
I gave you tokens
Toys and gifts
To help you grieve
You said
Kill me by surprise
Again
I don’t want to stay alive to watch
the words go first like hers

Winter we huddle in anger
Spring sadness sink in it
Summer accept all departures
In autumn start again
Winter we huddle in anger
Spring sadness sink in it
Summer accept all departures
In autumn start again
I drove around for hours
For gifts to help you heal
The memories of parted ones
The seasons of our grief
Rhodonite for stress relief
Promethazine for sleep
A rabbit toy for children
My deep condolences
Rhodonite for stress
Promethazine for sleep
A rabbit toy for kids
My deep condolences

Lifetimes
Lived and died

credits

from Panorama, released March 22, 2019

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